‘I did it in the name of love for Barca’: Voodoo priest puts a curse on 4 top clubs
Hi there. Yesterday I had another interesting conversation with Haiti’s voodoo soothsayer and priest during which he revealed very important news that I feel obliged to share with my fellow Barcelona fans, too.
The priest has put a voodoo curse on four teams and here’s why.
Juventus
“Many of you remember that scandal with Juve in mid-2000s when they were punished with relegation to Serie B after the investigation revealed that they were trying to influence referee appointments in their favor. It was so disgusting… It was like eating spaghetti without salt, Olive oil and Bolognese sauce. I’m sure they are still attempting to find ‘various ways’ to gain an advantage in some of the Serie A and Champions League matches. So to make sure it won’t affect my beloved Barca in any way, I put a spell on these Mafia and Fiat lovers.”
Man City
“They may still struggle to win the Champions League but they will continue to pose a serious threat to Barca in that competition under Guardiola and with the unlimited cash their hard-working and honest owners have. Let’s also look at it this way: the worse City play, the more disappointed Pep could become and return to Barca faster - something we all want a lot. I’m just being practical here.”
PSG
“Whenever someone tells me that this team have ‘true fans’, I begin feeling spasms in my anus. Indeed, there may be a few fans but 90% of those supporting PSG now have just been bought on the Internet, as one of my fellow voodoo friends likes to say, ahaha. When I hear the word ‘fake’ (even in the phrase ‘fake boobs’), I immediately start thinking about PSG - not Donald Trump. If they disappear from this planet along with their cash reserves, everyone will forget them after a couple of weeks. Take my word.”
Real Madrid
“Only spirits know how much I hate this stupid club… The club with no philosophy or style at all! Do you know the name of their philosophy? It’s called Buying. Do you know what they like doing when things are not going their way? Buying more! And their fans… I have had two encounters with Madrid fans in my life: one group of them beat me up a few days ago in the centre of Port au Prince and the other two Madrid fans came to my village, asking me to help them with their erection problems (I told them I would, I took the money, but I didn’t).”
Comments
A big thank you, bro. Hope this helps us. Messi needs at least one more CL before he retires. He would've had one already if not for one specific president and one specific coach.
Good
Much love bro💛