💩 Newcastle potential XI 'revealed' as £260bn new owners stepping in
Newcastle United are about to be taken over by a Saudi-led consortium with the crown prince of Saudi Arabia at its head.
The consortium, or rather the prince, possesses an estimated figure of £260bn. To understand the magnitude, here's how their wealth compares to the rest of the Premier League.
By money alone, the distance between Newcastle and Man City will be what the distance between Newcastle and Man City is now on the pitch. Only vice versa.
So, who will Newcastle United buy in the upcoming few transfer windows? Let's list some likely suspects.
Kylian Mbappe and Antoine Griezmann. This is bloody obvious. Grizou has already signed Mboopi in his Football Manager save so this one's settled. It's destiny.
Here's a subtitled screenshot of negotiations with Kylian. You can see he says 'Ouai'. It means 'yes' in French.
Ousmane Dembele won't join the new-look Newcastle United. You can see Griezmann has already made fun of Dembele because of it. Stay where the Playstation is, kid.
Let's carry on. We need a few more transfers from Spain because it's a tiki-taka league and surely, Newcastle will want to play its own, North England version of tiki-taki.
We need all the best players available so we'll take Philippe Coutinho. He's sulking at a dull Barca and anyway the Saudi-look Newcastle will soon be bigger than Barca ever was. Grab him.
Let's add some Britishness to the team and throw a wild Gareth Bale in. Now no one can accuse Newcastle of not building around local boys, right?
Naturally, NUFC will keep some of its best players. The first is Allan Saint-Maximin, because he likes Gucci and can make 5 dribbles to advance three inches up the pitch. Jonjo Shelvey can stay for two reasons: he has a shiny head and he kicks legs. That should be enough for a couple of seasons.
Some lads in the backline and the goalkeeper can stay on, too. No one cares about the defence, we score goals here.
Antonio Rudiger from Chelsea can come in. He wants 400k a week? He'll get them. Shame he'll be a bit of crap in a four-man backline but like I've said, the backline is not a priority.
All that in mind, have a look at the squad. That's ladies and gentlemen, the frightening Newcastle United in the upcoming years. Now, start trembling.
Comments
Deleted message
😂😂😂 Thats a good one.😂😂😂
I swear
spot on 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Am telling you bro 😂 😂 😂
Newcastle will never have those players play together even with Saudis takeover, big player will not accept playing for a club with no name, its like applying for loan with no security.
rome was not build in a day,it will this them years before they will stand.remember how many years it take man city to be where they are today